We lived together for 5 years, 4 of them – in my homeland. Then the wife became pregnant, and we moved to her hometown. When I gave birth, I tried very hard to earn. I got a job for two works, came home late, left early. Our relationship began to deteriorate. There were quarrels before the birth of a child, she did not like that I was never at home, all the time at work. But after the child was a year old, her attitude towards me changed dramatically. We parted, I moved to a friend, continued to help with the child. Offered to make peace, go together to rest – she refused. She often asked to sit with the child because she wants to meet girls. I came drunk. So I found out that she has another and they began to meet before our gap. I was in shock, begged to return, change my mind, but everything is in vain. When she broke up with a new partner, she began to sleep with his friend and with me. But I’m ready to forgive her everything, pulls me to her. What’s wrong with her? And why can’t I let her go?

Vladimir, 29 years old

Obviously, your wife has not experienced warm feelings for you for a long time. You can continue to communicate with her in order to support your child as a father. But it seems that the relationship between her and you will not develop, because she did not choose you.

The reasons why you cannot let go, two:

1) Most likely, you still hope that she will change his mind, will return that everything between you will be again as before. Many people hope for this when the gap

did not occur on their initiative. But you need to understand that as before it will never be.

2) You are not confident in yourself. You cannot imagine yourself in other respects: happy, healthy, in which you do not need to suffer. Therefore, you cling to the past and convince yourself that you still love. But this is a neurotic love that entails pain. Healthy love brings happiness.

I recommend that you, firstly, increase self-esteem. To do this, go in for sports, learn a new one, work more. Secondly, expand the circle of dating, communicate with other women. Getting acquainted with them, you can understand and accept that past relations can no longer be returned. And start to focus on the future.

Now there is like an empty space around you, you cannot interest other women. Because of this, a return to the past seems the only possible option. You need to show yourself that in fact there are many more options. And then you will get the opportunity to build a healthy relationship.